We have rarely gotten along, and he has ADHD. Living with another person with a disability is a trigger. Annie needed constant reminders for proper behaviour, and so does my step-son. I get the same feelings as I had when I was small, only now, I’m the adult. I hate it, and it sometimes feels like a living nightmare.
I know I sometimes treat him badly. This has been where my anger has dictated my behaviour. My husband, my beloved, pointed out that when we first met, my anger was directed at causes – environmental, human rights, etc. Gradually, my anger turned its ugly head towards the step-child and his mother. She deserves it, but he doesn’t. At least not as often as I feel it swelling up and taking over. I embraced the evil stepmother persona as a humorous coping mechanism.
Needing help to deal with my conflicts with him is the key that opened my Pandora’s box of anger. It’s a bittersweet gift. There’s a lot of unpacking to do from the contents of this box.