I see you, you little beast

This anger management thing is challenging. I have committed to learning how to process this strong emotion. I joined a support group on Facebook, I read articled online, I blog here, and I took a book out of the library. After my life-changing realization two weeks ago, I felt elated and that anger wasn’t going to be such a big deal any more, but it takes work, because many things make me angry:

  • My step-son. How often? Constantly. How frequently do I have to deal with him? Daily. For example, he just taught my toddler “WHAZAAAAAAAAP!” which my toddler will be screaming at the top of his lungs for the next few weeks. While the baby is sleeping. In the car. In public. Step-son also mumbles, and interrupts, and needs vigilant reminders to do the same, basic things we’ve been telling him for near a decade.
  • Driving. I am an aggressive, angry driver. It stresses my husband out, and I see now that it stresses me quite enormously. Every other driver is the problem, of course. Typical anger issues.
  • Dinner time. See: step-son. He has horrible interpersonal habits, bad table manners, and teaches my toddler all of these things.
  • My husband. Sometimes, he’s worst than my step-son because, as the other adult in the family, I don’t feel like I should have to ask for the garbage to be taken out, for help tidying the house, for him to do his typical chores. This makes me feel an undue amount of pressure. For example, Sunday is my day off from cooking. He never remembers and I remind him at around 5:30 p.m. weekly that he needs to get things rolling.

I could make a super-duper long list, so I’ll leave it at those key stressors – triggers – for the time being.

Just when I feel like I have my anger under control and that it won’t take over my evening, boing, there it is, peeking from around the corner, throwing hot coals at my gut. I know anger is a normal emotion and I will always feel it, but I would like to see the hairy little beastie as a warning sign rather than let it burn me.



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